I'm 22 weeks now. And lets just say this pregnancy is night and day compared to my first. I generally forget that I'm pregnant, until I look in the mirror or try and get up from sitting on the ground. I'm really missing how cute I looked my first time around. This second time, I just look like a fat girl that doesn't take care of herself. It's sad. I can't let myself think about it much or I get totally depressed. I'm not happy with how rapidly my body changed this time around. It's like once my body figured out it was pregnant, it decided to jump right back to looking like i did when I was at the END of my first pregnancy. I weigh the same today that I weighed the day I delivered Mckenzi, and I still have 18 weeks to go. So so sad. I do have to remind myself that I only gained 10 lbs total with Mckenzi, though, and I've gained 10 pounds so far this time. 10 pounds is a reasonable amount to gain, so I shouldn't be too hard on myself. I just don't want to have trouble losing it when all is said and done, and I know myself well. I'm trying to prepare myself mentally for the post delivery days, so that I'll be ready to get myself in shape and be a healthy mom. Having only two kids is looking more and more appealing. I do feel very selfish every time I think that way though. Anyway, I'll post a picture tomorrow, since I should look somewhat decent for Easter Sunday.
Now on to Mckenzi. She is so so so cute. Such a little girl. Blossoms more and more every day. Neal and I still look at her with absolute awe. We couldn't be more impressed or more in love with everything that she represents. She is 19 months, and is such a rad kid. She loves everyone, talks to everyone, wants to be best friends with eveyrone, and just has the most happy-go-lucky attitude. But, on top of that, she definitely has a Wendy-streak in her. She's learned the power of the tantrum - and has given us one or two recently. The first one really sent me into mild hysterics of my own. We were on the plane home from Arkansas, it was around midnight, she was EXHAUSTED, hungry, wanted a bottle, couldn't sleep, her ears were hurting, she couldn't run around and play and talk to everyone, so for the last hour of the trip she screamed and cried at the top of her lungs. Fighting to get out of my arms, clawing at my face, hitting and flailing. None of my usual tactics worked, no soothing or singing or loving or patting or ANYTHING worked. Everyone stared. Everyone grimaced. Everyone judged. Everyone was getting mad. Finally, I gave in to it all, held her in the aisle of the plane, and cried. Cried, cried, cried. I too was emotional, hungry, HORMONAL, and not to mention over heated, had been fighting non stop with Neal during the whole ordeal, and finally just broke down. As I cried with her, she finally just layed her head on my chest, I told her over and over "mommy is here, I know you are sad", and we cried together until she fell asleep. And shoot, I was a hot mess. I proceeded to cry well after she fell asleep. Cry cry cry cry cry. Neal and Jaime stared, not sure what to do for me. Luckily they only stared, and left me to my crying. Neal, of coures, put a hand on my leg. But I was left to get my emotions out, and for that I was grateful. Eventually, the old lady sitting across the aisle next to me patted my back and said, "You're doing a wonderful job honey. A wonderful, wonderful job." Of course that made me cry for another ten minutes or so. But the gesture meant so so much to me.
Annnnnnyway, tantrums are FUN! Here are some things about Mckenzi, so I don't forget:
- she sleeps 12-15 hours a night, and 2-3 1/2 hours for her one nap each day. When she wakes up, she calls me until I come and get her. Sometimes I abuse this in the mornings, and let her call me on and off for 30 minutes or so. :) She is very kind and doesn't get impatient with me. I appreciate that!
- she has the cutest little baby language. she says "where are you?" (where you are?), and "i don't know" (i-uh-yo). She calls her grandpa "papa", which she came up with on her own, so we all think it's very sweet. She loves her papa. She calls my mom "mama", just like she calls me. She love love loves her grandparents. She has said "please" for a long time now, only she's turned it into sounding like "ice". So when she says please, it's always, "ice, ice, ice, ice" or "ease ease ease ease" until she gets what she's asking for. And WITHOUT FAIL, every time someone gives her something, or is nice to her, she says thankyou "teeeeeetoooooooo". She has such wonderful manners. Definitely a Holmes trait. She says so many more things, too. "No" is a new favorite. "Steenty" is a fun one for her too (stinky). When the microwave beeps, she always excitedly starts chanting "bobba, bobba?"...even though that's only a bed time luxury. She's a little love bug, and we can't get enough of her.
Here she is with her bestfriend, Prince. She LOVES him:
Exploring the world, in the buff, with her bestie:
Why yes, I am looking fat. Thanks for noticing. At least Mckenzi still loves me:
Walking to Aunt Tam's with Gramma:
This was RIGHT before she started crying. She'd been up there all of ten seconds:
My booger, so big:
Enjoying a game of 'peek a boo' with the grandmas:
Giving unsolicited lovies to Uncle Jared. We were all outside as we watching the lightening storm. Minutes later we were all getting drenched: