Can I get a "holler" please?

We three are living large. Highschool sweethearts. Married in the Newport Beach LDS Temple. Two kids. Taking life a day at a time!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Another day, another post.

Does anyone else feel like they live life waiting for the NEXT big thing? It frustrates me a little that I'm guilty of doing this. I mean, for example, I've been pregnant for 28 weeks, and for the majority of these 28 weeks (well 24, since I didn't know about the pregnancy for 4 weeks duh) all I've been able to think about it life AFTER pregnancy. Only natural, I suppose. Life gets put on hold a bit. I can start my diet when I'm done, I can take my business to the next level when I'm done (which means a thousand different things), I can get out in my garage and climb on ladders and finally organize it all, I can head up getting our house listed for sale, etc, etc, etc. It's hard to take the bull by the horns when the bull has you, so to speak. :)

Also, I've been a little extra irritated people at church lately. My husband has unfortunately had the weekend shift for years now, which is normally fairly manageable, at least when I'm not pregnant. I have an demanding,clingy, energetic, (almost) 2 year old, I'm largely pregnant, and I have no husband to assist me in 1) getting us ready for church and 2)taking care of Mckenzi at church. She is nursery age, but has become overwhelmingly attached to me, and screams if I leave nursery to try and squeeze in a little bit of class. So, I spend my sundays working to get us ready, only to sit in nursery with a massive group of 2 year olds that need me to blow their nose and refill their sippy cups. It takes MAJOR effort just getting there. Once I get there, I'd like to be able to get anything at all out of it, and I can't. So on the sundays where I choose to not fight the fight, the members, particularly certain sisters, chalk it up to me just being lazy and inactive. I don't appreciate people calling MY PARENTS and asking them what they can do to get me to church. How about YOUR husband goes and works every sunday of his life? How about you stop looking at everything at face value, and try and understand that people have certain challenges and trials in their lives that can only be fixed with patience and time? It is plainly insulting. I feel like if the members were actually concerned, and cared, they would approach ME and ask ME what they could do to help. Instead, they get secretive and stealth, and talk to my parents as if it's too sensitive a matter to talk to me about. Please, TALK TO ME, so I can help you understand that I do my best, I do what I can, and my heart is in the right place. What it comes down to is that my Heavenly Father knows me and understands me, and at the end of the day, that's all I need to concern myself with. I just wish that others weren't so judgemental and unfeeling about it all. Everyone's circumstances are different. It just so happens that I have a young family, I'm doing it on my own, and that's all their is to it. People have NO IDEA the challenges that we face because of the career that my husband (and I) have chosen for our lives. I just wish that people would spend less time judging, and more time looking at the big picture. I know it shouldn't be annoying when I walk into Relief Society, and a whole row clears out just to make sure that I have seat, cuz heaven forbid the inactive girl should leave just cuz their wasn't a seat. Anyway, that's my rant today.

Whew, who knew I had THAT much to say? It's how I feel right now. That's just the way it is. I'm only capable of so much. I do my best as a mom, and I try my best to keep my heart, mind and spirit in the right place. That said, I love the Gospel, and I understand that the members that make up the church are only human, and do their best as well. Annnnnnyway, off I go to take care of my gnarly acid indigestion. And maybe hit the shower. But only AFTER I finish watching 17 Again, which is hilariously awesome. Oh how I have an inappropriate crush on Zac Efron. It's just an on again off again thing, so don't worry. :)


Emily said...

I assume you're probably talking about my mom since she magnifies the crap out of her calling. If so, I'll say sorry for her. Sorry Wendy! I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt your feelings. She tells me everything about the ward and I've never heard her say anything negative about you. If it is my mom, it would be awesome to just come out and say something to her. She's really good about it when you set things straight. My mom can be somewhat judgy sometimes, but I assure you she doesn't mean to hurt anyone. She cares about her calling more than just about anything and is just trying to do a good job. She should understand since she was a single mom going to church with 2 kids before she met my dad.

Unless, of course, you're talking about someone else........then forget anything I just said : )

Shelley said...

First of all, I don't even have a baby yet and I still struggle getting to church sometimes because of Michaels schedule. If he has to work on Sunday, there's no way I will motivate myself to go to church alone. Luckily he doesn't work during church so if he gets home in time to get enough sleep before church, then we go. But it is hard for us to get there too, just because for him it's a matter of sleep deprivation and for me it's a matter of not wanting to go by myself. Like you said, everyone has their struggles. I think people in our ward are generally understand about it though. They get he works crazy hours. (Although I'm sure they think I'm a slacker for not going just because he is working or sleeping). Moral of the story? As long as you continue to do what you can, that's all anyone can expect from you. They shouldn't judge you and DEFINITELY shouldn't go calling your parents. But yeah, I am sure their hearts are in the right place. But I totally understand where you are coming from! I don't know WHAT I'm going to do with a daughter to get ready when sometimes I can't even get motivated to get myself ready haha. Wow, this is like the longest comment in history. I wonder if there's a limit...

Oh and 17 Again is a great movie! You might also like Charlie St. Cloud. There are some nice Zac Efron moments/shots. ;-)

Katie Dunn said...

SO sorry that that all went down!! And you are right Heavenly Father knows you and thats ALL that matters. Hang in there girl and it will be over soon :) love you!

KatieBug said...

when i was pregnant with Emma some girl kept trying to "reach out to me." She ended writing a totally rude email (which was apparently meant to be a nice email...??) saying that I need the gospel and so does my little family. She apparently thought I was in active. It was the middle of the summer, we were out of town many weekends, I was sick and pregnant, and there were multiple baby blessings at Jareds families ward. I was so mad. I have no advice to give. I can just empathize with you and say it pissed me off more then any one knows. And it made me feel like I wasnt a good enough mom or something since I wasnt able to be in town, go to other family things, be sick and have a 2 year old and go to my ward all at the same time. So trust me, I know. I think that in the future when any one says anything to you, you should say something back to make them feel awkward or uncomfortable. I know people have good intentions, but a lot of the times they come across the wrong way and need to back off a little.

The Linkous Family said...

Totally understand Wendy...Brent works every Sunday too so that leaves me to get 3 little ones ready and off to church while being enormously prego and it isn't easy at all! I come back from church so exhausted so there are times when I just dont want to fight that fight and I stay home. The Lord knows my heart and my intentions and that is all that really matters. Those that want to judge us our wrong, for there job is not judge, maybe they should be praying instead for you to have some calm and easy mornings so that you can get to church in a joyful spirit, not so exhausted:)

Jessica said...

It's not inappropriate, he's got the abs of my dreams. Totally appropriate.

Also- sometimes people want to help but are worried that approaching you directly is the thing that will be off-putting (and end up going behind your back and talking to others about you). So probably well-intentioned, but I can understand how that makes you feel.

You are awesome!